Almost every aspect of my life is filled with some sort of white noise. I've began to notice this because Asher is so simple. His emotional responses to everything is so binary. Confusion, fear, joy, anger--all of these emotions and expressions are pure. When he swings, he smiles and laughs without hesitation. When he cries, he cries hysterically. And he stops when he wants to stop without embarrassment.
Even now, I can't write without constantly criticizing my style, my motives, or the need to actually write about this topic. I mean does the world really need more words about this particular topic?
I don't want to live vicariously through my son. But I do want to re-experience his simplistic view of the world. I want to enjoy something without constantly dissecting the "why" of the experience. My best friend and I constantly analyze the "why" of everything. We can argue for an hour over why one cereal is better than another, or we can talk about how important the concept of "the milk absorption rate" is to a cereal in general. I like talking about this kind of stuff. It bothers me when someone can't explain why they like or dislike something. But my whole life seems to revolve around the "why" of a certain situation. I mean this whole post is me analyzing my experience with my son.
I know that growing up means living in a world that isn't black and white. And if I'm honest with myself, I know that I don't want to completely sacrifice my love of paradox, intricacy, and inquiry. But having a child forces me to think about the last time that I basked in the breeze. And I like that.
i hear that milk absorbs quite nicely in a summer breeze. there is something about the tiny bit of humidity in the air that allows the milk to give u a millisecond more of time before the milk fully absorbs the flake and to this i say.. take some special k to the park with u :)
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