Failed Attempts: It's easier to post fragments than work on my writing.

NOTE: This isn't worth your time if you're expecting polished, fully developed ideas. I was just doing some free writing with my classes and typed it up because it's writing, and I may as well chronicle it. If, on the other hand, you want to see me write badly to feel better about yourself, or to just judge me, then feel free to keep on reading.

Fragment 1)

A turning point: this is the moment when your life changes. When everything that you hoped would happen, happens. The moment that TV shows and movies so eloquently and untruthfully create. This is your moment. It's not about Cynthia. Every other day is about her. She's beautiful and all the guys like her, but it's not about her so let's not shift any of the focus. Let it be about you. Are you ready? Are you ready to become the reality of your daydreams and hidden hopes? 

Then it happens... And it's great for a few moments. 

You go home and replay it in your mind and realize that it wasn't what it was supposed to be. That your moment, your fifteen minutes of fame, was really just the subtext of someone else's bigger moment. And that you're just a minor character in someone else's grand narrative. How does it feel to know that you're not even a sub-bullet point on the time line of the world? 

You look at me and say, "Freeing."

Fragment 2)

I was once something like this: do you remember the time that we played together. When we were pals. When we were tight. When we wanted the same toys, the same bike, the same girl. The older we got, the changes became less subtle. More distinct like old milk that doesn't smell quite right today, and smells rancid in a week. But it happend over years, not days. Then one day we stopped talking all together. We waved and said our hellos at school and in the neighborhood. But eventually that to morphed into head nods and grunts. Then it just ended in nothing, not with a bang but a wimper.

Fragment 3)

I said to myself that I'm going to be a better person. I'm going to read more, write more, and play videogames less. I've said it multiple times. It's funny when I look back on how many times I've said it and not followed through. Is it because I'm weak or lazy or just uncommitted. Probably. But I'll say it again and this time I'll try to pretend that I really mean it. And I'll try to pretend that I'm not pretending. And maybe this time it will mean something. Isn't wanting to want something the same as actually wanting something?